I am about to lose my job
• The panic has seized me…literally, I am having the cold sweats and the choking heart beat that keeps punching the back of my throat and echoing in the pit of my stomach. I woke today thinking lightly how lucky I was to have a job, now I violently hold on to that thought. I have 2 weeks to look for another job because the job that was promised to me is…not available. I can live with the uncertainty of it all in this country except when it comes to things that really matter to me, like job offers, waiting for an ambulance or waiting to get a connection to my parents’ number. I remember once, a school I was working at was so remote, it took 2 hours just to log on to the internet and another 45 minutes to get into Hotmail, 35 for Yahoo! Forget replying. International calls only went as far as the next province and packages were usually returned to the sender sans the contents unless you clearly labelled them "scary feminine products". My contract ended about 2 months ago, at this time I was approached by my superiors on a possible position. This I decided to strongly consider since it seemed like a step up from what I was doing. Unfortunately this position could not be created, but it only took them 2 months to come to this conclusion. Which leaves me in the current position I am in where I have no job and no prospects. I did have a prospect whom I went to meet a few weeks ago and we had a verbal agreement but it seemed he has chickened out on pioneering into the world of hiring good teachers of a non favorable color. Unsure, uncertain and a bit disconcerted I wait for the scary drama that is my life to unfold. Waiting, my worst word in any dictionary next to uncertainty and unemployment. I remember telling someone in a blog to go work at Mcdonalds’ if that’s what it took for him to get his life back…I would happily do that if only Mcdonalds’ here hired non Chinese speakers. So I’ll play the waiting game, see what happens and hope for the best which must happen as my life literally depends on it.